The moment my dad told me he didn’t love me
Wasn’t very shocking.
It was disturbing,
But also confirming.
Days before this happened,
I already had thoughts about how my dad didn’t love me or show me much affection and attention as a child.
He didn’t show up to any of my concerts,
He always backed out of taking me somewhere,
And he even showed up after my high school graduation.
It was bad to the point my teachers thought my mom was a single mom.
There were good moments and memories,
But he still wasn’t really there.
The moment my dad told me he didn’t love me
I couldn’t focus on his comments for too long.
I had to clean up my apartment,
Take care of my kittens,
Prepare dinner,
And go to work.
“That’s what grown people do.”
Mind you,
I’m not even in my twenties.
My dad prioritized his job before he would prioritize his wife and daughter.
My dad would make sexist remarks and told me I would never marry because I’m not submissive.
Mind you,
I am very submissive and motherly to the men I am dealing with.
But I am not going to be submissive to my dad.
My dad never saw me as his equal
Or his daughter.
So the moment my dad told me he didn’t love me
Was an weird moment,
But comforting.
The Paramour 