There’s always a lingering sadness when my birthday comes around
“Hip hip hooray! Another year where I failed to kill myself and the emptiness grows larger”
She towers behind me all the time
Even when I think she’s gone, she’s there
There with her soft hands and smooth belly
So whenever I need to,
I can fall back into her and retreat into my pure,
Worthless self
When he grabs my hair and fucks me from behind,
I don’t feel anything
When HE grabs my hair and fucks me from behind,
I don’t feel anything
When she grabs my throat and kisses me,
I don’t feel a single thing
I thought it was because it was meaningless
I thought it was because I didn’t love them
I thought it was because I wasn’t in the right head space
But no
I have no sense of pleasure anymore
I do things to get a reaction
I seek pleasure
In things that don’t do it for me anymore
It’s draining and I feel broken
And I’m only 18
“Hip hip hooray! I’m broken and used and I’m only 18”
The Paramour 