A Way of Life

Let my wounds tell you.
I’ve been through a lot 
And I don’t know how I survived so long.
I should have been dead a while ago.
My body found lifeless,
Filled with pain pills
And unfulfilled wishes.

I have been through so much pain.
I’ve become cold and numb.
The emotions within me 
Operate against me.
My body and mind 
Move on their own,
Senseless and numb.

But, 
I’m trying.
I’m trying to find peace and love
Within this cruel world.
I’m trying to live in a naive state,
Where no further harm can be down.

But, I’m corrupt.
I follow my own laws and direction.
I find pain to be love
And love to be obsession.
I find hatred to be passion
And passion to be deadly.

I have been through it all
And I have seen it all.
I live in a different mindset,
A different painting and vision.

After so much pain,
I finally get to make the rules.