Stuck In This Mind

In the most recent parts of my life, 

I began to realize that I am apart of this reality.

I could be sitting in class,

Sitting at my desk,

Hanging out with friends,

When I become hyper-aware.

I become aware that I have a mother, who will suffer to give me her last,

A father, who is a horrible, disappoint of a man.

I have a sick mind and I am a mess with no sense on how to change it.

I become aware that I am required to live this life,

To suffer, to love, to desire, to procreate,

And live into my 40s, 50s and 60s.

And it terrifies me.

Why me?
Why us?
Why are things the way it is?

How can I change it?
Why am I like

And it is the most frightening realization.

Being human

This world is a strange one.

I don’t know how I fit within it.

I don’t know how I function within it.

I don’t even know what to do within it.

But I have to make it work.

I have to adjust and get through it.

It scares me at times.

I’m scared of failing,


Getting lost,

And falling apart.

But I have to do it.

I don’t want to let go yet.