I didn’t ask to be a woman.
I didn’t plan it beforehand,
And my parents didn’t plan it.
If I knew how this world treats women,
I would’ve definitely been born a boy,
Or not been born at all.
But I’m here.
Where people are debating about my womb,
Judging my curvy body,
Criticizing my skin color
And fetishizing my ‘erotic’ nature.
It’s a cruel joke.
I didn’t ask for any of this.
I don’t want this reality.
I feel betrayed by my eyes whenever they open
And bring me back to my hopeless reality.
I feel wronged every time by heart beats on rhythm.
But I’m here.
And I have no choice, but to make the most of it.
I want to have fun
And make people miserable.
The natural evilness within me is fueled by my own hatred and dismay.
She is impulsive, cruel, sharp-tongued and motived.
Every time I try to be sweet and good,
She reminds me how nobody, but her, cares about my being
And all I have been through due to me being sweet and kind.
She tells me,
“This world has and will always be cruel to you,
why don’t you return it?”
as she says.
In the future,
I hope to live comfortably.
My husband takes care of me.
I don’t have to work or make decisions
Besides what color the kitchen walls should be painted.
The only form of work I do is writing for my blog
And tending to the home.
I don’t want to be the stereotypical housewife
Who takes cares of her man child of a husband
And is restricted to the home.
I want to be the wife that my husband tends to.
He takes care of all my wants and needs and more.
He lets me be hateful and cruel,
But only sweet to him.
I want to live out my evil ways
In peace and without shame.
This is paradise.
We just came from dinner at a local diner. The moon was out and shining, enlightening us under her glory. He was hold my hand and I was trying to keep the beast within me tamed. We walked over the wooden bridge. I felt like I was on a light cloud. I felt like I was in heaven. Then, he stopped. He stopped and turned to face me and palmed my face in his hands. And, he said it. He said those three fucking words.
“I love you.”
The second those word left his mouth, I broke apart. Something within me switched off and the beast, the evil being, came out. My body went haywire and I had no control over it. My brain shut off, the veins in my neck snapped, my head became stiff and heavy. Then, my stomach turned and my legs snapped, causing me to fall onto the bridge. He tried to help me, he truly did, but it was too late. The night he told me he loved me was the night I died and became the evil being I am today.