Pursuits of Life

What is the point of being alive?

What is the point of being a living organism on a planet such as earth?

Is it for capitalism?

Is it biological?

Is it for the greater good?

Is it even our choice to be functional humans within a society?

Why must things be done at the ‘right time’?

Why must things be done at all?

Why must we suffer and live in that suffer?

Why must we live for other beings who do not live for us?

This is how I view it:

Life should be for the pursuit of art.

To create and birth something meaningful, relevant and sickening.

Life should be for the pursuit of love.

To love and be loved is the greatest objective and the only reason to live in a horrible world such as ours.

Life should be for the pursuit of pain.

To learn from discomfort and to cause other’s discomfort.

Life should be for the pursuit of emotions.

To be controlled and led by your highest and lowest points

Life should be for the pursuit of self.

To cater, care and honor yourself as if you are a God

And make other’s do the same.

Life is meaningless and is filled with false prophecies and false truths.

However, with these five goals,

Life become a bit more

Pleasurable. 

I am

I am witty and sly

I wonder why you’re so selfish

I hear your secrets

I see your lies

I want your money, power and all your glory

I am the madness that lurks within you

I pretend to be oblivious

I feel untouchable

I touch your cold heart

I worry about being caught

I cry at your funeral

I am malevolent and hostile

I understand what it means to have power

I say “who’s next”

I dream about the terror I could raise

I try not to laugh

I hope to ruin your life

I am what you hide from in your beds every single night

A Child of Horror

I don’t have many memories of being a child. I think it’s because I blocked a lot of stuff out, for my own good, and due to my extremely bad memory. A fond memory I have is watching movies with my dad and creating paper airplanes. I remember we once stayed up all night and created airplanes while watching several horror movies. I don’t know why we did that, but we did and it was a good experience for me. It made me a big horror fan as an adult, but I’m, also, very desensitized to certain stuff like blood and gruesome scenes. It wasn’t his intention – he just wanted to bond with me. In this article, I put together a list of movies that I distinctly remember watching during my childhood and loving.

  1. The Bad Seed (1956)

I believe my parents used to compare me to this movie and I was kinda offended because I wasn’t out here killing people. I was just a little, spoiled brat who (still) didn’t like to be told ‘no’. I don’t remember what age I saw it at, but I know I was younger than nine and I would watch it with my father. The film makes me wonder if people are truly born evil or if they develop the quality from their surroundings and experiences.

  1. The Birds (1963)

Now, this movie? I thought it was really strange and didn’t make any sense to me. I never truly watched it with my parents, but I did see bits and pieces of it. I vividly remember seeing a scene where all these birds just start attacking the main character and I’m just sitting there, bewildered and scared, wondering if that’ll ever happen to me in real life. 

  1. Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

I watched this movie by myself  in my teens, but my parents did talk about this movie and I was intrigued  by it. I can recall hearing my mother talk about the movie, but we never watched it together. When I watched it, I was asking so many questions and was getting mad for the main character. Imagine having the weirdest pregnancy ever, giving birth and being told your baby was stillborn and then finding out your child is actually alive and well and was taken by a satanic cult that your husband is a part of. I would be so livid and everyone would get a taste of my wrath.

  1. Carrie (1976)

This movie was so sad to me, but I was so happy for the main character at the end. I found it weird during the scene where the other girls were bullying Carrie about getting her period like who would care? Even as a little kid, I knew menstrual cycles were a natural thing and happens to almost every woman. You shouldn’t get shamed for it no matter how old or how young you get it. So, as you can tell, I was rooting for Carrie from the very beginning and I could relate to her as well. I would’ve burned the whole school down as well.

These are just a few movies that stick with me past childhood, in a good and bad way. It gave me a sense of the culture that my parents grew up in and made me feel like I was a part of it as well. It’s comforting to have a passion that one of your parents have. I might even pick one of the movies from this list and do a review of them, as an adult.