C.D.

Baby.

You’re my baby, my darling, my lover.

My body aches for you,

My bed feels empty and cold without you.

My soft interior peaks out only for you.

You are my partner,

Nobody compares to you.

I worship you as if you were a God,

My God.

My body was made for you 

To kiss,

To hold,

To grab,

To bend.

I am in my truest form 

When I am with you,

My baby.

Sweet Treat

Today, I decided to try making sugar cookies.
I’ve never made them before,
But I was craving the taste.

The first bite felt surreal.
I felt like I was in a dream, 
A familiar dream.

The second bite felt refreshing.
I was transported back to that familiar dream,
With my beautiful husband and my sweet baby.

The third bite felt loving. 
My husband’s lips were on my neck
While my devilish baby played with strands of my hair.

The fourth bite felt orgasmic.
My husband’s hunger and my baby’s beauty overwhelmed me.
I felt whole again. 

The final bite felt mournful
I knew I would have to say goodbye,
So I gave my husband and my baby a heartfelt kiss.

As the sweet treat fades from my deprived tongue, 
I realize I am 
Once again 
Alone.
And it was once again, 
A near dream of a distant reality.

My Heart

My heart is too delicate and full to be abused.
It is a soft child, new to the harshness of this disgusting world.

She’s still innocent. 


I can’t stop her from loving and caring for useless men
Who can’t see her worth and potential.
Who don’t appreciate the pureness of her love.


But,
She can’t help it.
She thrives and continues to seek the man she will love
And marry until her last breath.

But, 
My heart still ponders a simple question.
What’s the point of giving my all, 
my bottomless being,
to a man who would only give me half?

Love Me Now

You said you didn’t love me.

You said you had no ill feelings for me,

But that you 

Didn’t 

Love 

Me.

I just couldn’t understand the idea of you not loving

me

When I’ve loved you my entire life 

And beyond.

Now, I’m stand

In your kitchen

With your beating heart

In my hands.

Your body lies still on the clean tiles. 

I give your heart a squeeze 

As I admire the sweet gift you have given me. 

I’m sorry, my love.

I just couldn’t 

Take

The

Rejection.

I hope you can love me 

Now

That I have your heart 

In my loving hands. 

Made for Me

I thought it was impossible to meet a man 

As deranged and lost in this world as I am.

One who has no will to live and only lives 

To raise hell amongst the world.

One who looks at me as if I’m god

And Satan.

One who is able to tame 

My inner wrath and hatred.

One who makes this horrible world

Worth living, even for a few more years.

From the second I met him,

I knew he was made for me,

And only me. 

Love isn’t that simple

Love is not that simple.

Love in not that simple to me.

Other people experience it as 

Something fresh, pleasant and joyful.

I experience it as 

a rebirth, dreading and overall painful.

Love,

For me,

Turns into obsession.

Turns into wanting to be apart of your physical being.

Turns into a burning pain due to how much I crave and desire.

Love,

For me,

Is sickening.

My daily functions depend on your admiration of me.

My mind, body and soul depends on your overall happiness.

Love,

For me,

Becomes my entire identity.

I am not me if I don’t have or possess you.

I am meaningless without love.

Is this healthy?
No, it isn’t.

But it’s the only way I thrive within my being. 

Love Letter

What must I do for your love?

What must I do for you to be mine?

You are the embodiment of perfection and glory.

The sight of you makes my knees weak

And my power, my ego, disappear.

Your boyish appearance and naïve aura

Makes you irresistible and I want to

Corrupt you,

Damage you,

A man of twenty, but you’re so pure,

So new, to this harsh world.

I was made

For you.

I will write for you until my fingers bleed.

I will further damage this world for you.

I will give you my beating heart for your own.

I will crawl on my hands and knees if you asked.

I will only exist for your own happiness and pleasure.

Intense Emotions

I hate everything.
I hate life.
I hate having to live in this world.
I hate having to talk.
I hate having to correct people.
I hate that there are crappy, shitty, bottom of the barrel ass people in this world.

I love everything.
I love expressing love.
I love being in love.
I love my life and the people that are in it.
I love everything that is given to me.
I love what is going on in my life 

I am disgusted by everything.
I’m disgusted by my hair.
I’m disgusted by my peers.
I’m disgusted by my teachers.
I’m disgusted by people.
I’m disgusted I live on a planet like this.

I’m irritated by everything.
I’m irritated by your presence.
I’m irritated with how certain things go.
I’m irritated that I write shitty poems.
I’m irritated with this existence. 
I’m irritated that you irritated me.

The night he told me he loved me

We just came from dinner at a local diner. The moon was out and shining, enlightening us under her glory. He was hold my hand and I was trying to keep the beast within me tamed. We walked over the wooden bridge. I felt like I was on a light cloud. I felt like I was in heaven. Then, he stopped. He stopped and turned to face me and palmed my face in his hands. And, he said it. He said those three fucking words.

“I love you.”

The second those word left his mouth, I broke apart. Something within me switched off and the beast, the evil being, came out. My body went haywire and I had no control over it. My brain shut off, the veins in my neck snapped, my head became stiff and heavy. Then, my stomach turned and my legs snapped, causing me to fall onto the bridge. He tried to help me, he truly did, but it was too late. The night he told me he loved me was the night I died and became the evil being I am today.

How Did You Get Him?

How did I get him?
How did I get him to become mine for this lifetime
and the next?
Well, it wasn’t easy.

I had to attract him.
I wore pretty, short dresses
And short skirts.
I became hairless and brainless 
To get him to notice me.

I had to match him.
I copied his actions and
His interests.
I had to smile as big as I could
And hide my true intentions.

And then,
I got him.  

I had to keep him in.
I put my menstrual blood
In his food.
I used my climax to 
Keep him thinking of me.

We had to stay together.
We lived in each other’s
Dreams.
We performed blood rituals
Under the light of the full moon.

My work will not go to waste.