You’re my baby, my darling, my lover.
My body aches for you,
My bed feels empty and cold without you.
My soft interior peaks out only for you.
You are my partner,
Nobody compares to you.
I worship you as if you were a God,
My body was made for you
I am in my truest form
When I am with you,
Today, I decided to try making sugar cookies.
I’ve never made them before,
But I was craving the taste.
The first bite felt surreal.
I felt like I was in a dream,
A familiar dream.
The second bite felt refreshing.
I was transported back to that familiar dream,
With my beautiful husband and my sweet baby.
The third bite felt loving.
My husband’s lips were on my neck
While my devilish baby played with strands of my hair.
The fourth bite felt orgasmic.
My husband’s hunger and my baby’s beauty overwhelmed me.
I felt whole again.
The final bite felt mournful
I knew I would have to say goodbye,
So I gave my husband and my baby a heartfelt kiss.
As the sweet treat fades from my deprived tongue,
I realize I am
And it was once again,
A near dream of a distant reality.
My heart is too delicate and full to be abused.
It is a soft child, new to the harshness of this disgusting world.
She’s still innocent.
I can’t stop her from loving and caring for useless men
Who can’t see her worth and potential.
Who don’t appreciate the pureness of her love.
She can’t help it.
She thrives and continues to seek the man she will love
And marry until her last breath.
My heart still ponders a simple question.
What’s the point of giving my all,
my bottomless being,
to a man who would only give me half?
You said you didn’t love me.
You said you had no ill feelings for me,
But that you
I just couldn’t understand the idea of you not loving
When I’ve loved you my entire life
Now, I’m stand
In your kitchen
With your beating heart
In my hands.
Your body lies still on the clean tiles.
I give your heart a squeeze
As I admire the sweet gift you have given me.
I’m sorry, my love.
I just couldn’t
I hope you can love me
That I have your heart
In my loving hands.
I thought it was impossible to meet a man
As deranged and lost in this world as I am.
One who has no will to live and only lives
To raise hell amongst the world.
One who looks at me as if I’m god
One who is able to tame
My inner wrath and hatred.
One who makes this horrible world
Worth living, even for a few more years.
From the second I met him,
I knew he was made for me,
And only me.
Love is not that simple.
Love in not that simple to me.
Other people experience it as
Something fresh, pleasant and joyful.
I experience it as
a rebirth, dreading and overall painful.
Turns into obsession.
Turns into wanting to be apart of your physical being.
Turns into a burning pain due to how much I crave and desire.
My daily functions depend on your admiration of me.
My mind, body and soul depends on your overall happiness.
Becomes my entire identity.
I am not me if I don’t have or possess you.
I am meaningless without love.
Is this healthy?
No, it isn’t.
But it’s the only way I thrive within my being.
What must I do for your love?
What must I do for you to be mine?
You are the embodiment of perfection and glory.
The sight of you makes my knees weak
And my power, my ego, disappear.
Your boyish appearance and naïve aura
Makes you irresistible and I want to
A man of twenty, but you’re so pure,
So new, to this harsh world.
I was made
I will write for you until my fingers bleed.
I will further damage this world for you.
I will give you my beating heart for your own.
I will crawl on my hands and knees if you asked.
I will only exist for your own happiness and pleasure.
I hate everything.
I hate life.
I hate having to live in this world.
I hate having to talk.
I hate having to correct people.
I hate that there are crappy, shitty, bottom of the barrel ass people in this world.
I love everything.
I love expressing love.
I love being in love.
I love my life and the people that are in it.
I love everything that is given to me.
I love what is going on in my life
I am disgusted by everything.
I’m disgusted by my hair.
I’m disgusted by my peers.
I’m disgusted by my teachers.
I’m disgusted by people.
I’m disgusted I live on a planet like this.
I’m irritated by everything.
I’m irritated by your presence.
I’m irritated with how certain things go.
I’m irritated that I write shitty poems.
I’m irritated with this existence.
I’m irritated that you irritated me.
We just came from dinner at a local diner. The moon was out and shining, enlightening us under her glory. He was hold my hand and I was trying to keep the beast within me tamed. We walked over the wooden bridge. I felt like I was on a light cloud. I felt like I was in heaven. Then, he stopped. He stopped and turned to face me and palmed my face in his hands. And, he said it. He said those three fucking words.
“I love you.”
The second those word left his mouth, I broke apart. Something within me switched off and the beast, the evil being, came out. My body went haywire and I had no control over it. My brain shut off, the veins in my neck snapped, my head became stiff and heavy. Then, my stomach turned and my legs snapped, causing me to fall onto the bridge. He tried to help me, he truly did, but it was too late. The night he told me he loved me was the night I died and became the evil being I am today.
How did I get him?
How did I get him to become mine for this lifetime
and the next?
Well, it wasn’t easy.
I had to attract him.
I wore pretty, short dresses
And short skirts.
I became hairless and brainless
To get him to notice me.
I had to match him.
I copied his actions and
I had to smile as big as I could
And hide my true intentions.
I got him.
I had to keep him in.
I put my menstrual blood
In his food.
I used my climax to
Keep him thinking of me.
We had to stay together.
We lived in each other’s
We performed blood rituals
Under the light of the full moon.
My work will not go to waste.