Loving you isn’t enough

It wasn’t enough to love you.

It wasn’t enough to love you the way normal couples loved each other.

I wanted to show you something new and different, something unique and soul-binding.

I want to open up the folds of the universe and dig deep to find a new heavenly way to love you.

I want to unearth the dead languages of the world to express how much I adore you.

Gods, angels, demons will weep at the love I have and express for you.

I want, I need to become you.

I need to possess you. 

I need to love you in a way that has existed long ago.

I need to become it. 

Become the being that terrifies you, but you can’t seem to get away.

Isn’t that romantic?

Romantic Urges

The urge to run my stiletto nails down his dark skin.

The urge to enter his dreams whenever I’m away from him.

The urge to learn dead languages of the world just to express my love for him.

The urge to perform binding rituals together whenever the moon is full.

The urge for him to leave bruises on my heart-shaped ass.

The urge to possess him and allow him to possess me.

The urge to turn myself into his worst nightmare.

The urge to cover ourselves in our own blood and swear to never leave each other.

The urge to destroy anything that gets in the way of our obsession with each other.

My Husband – Part Two

“Why would you marry a man that resembles the demonic force that tormented you as a child?”

Well, why do you drink water?
Why do you shower and cleanse yourself?
Why do you breathe?

You see, I can’t live without him.
I told the moon and the sun about him.
He visits my dreams, as I do his.
My soul, my body, my entire being is merged with his.

I haunt him.
Our spirits are bound together through an ancient blood ritual under the full moon.
He isn’t leaving me. Ever.

There is no ’til death do us part’
because I will always be with him and love him til and after death.
Our souls will continue to return to each other.

We are the demonic entity that haunted me as a child.

Why me?

Why would you be attracted to me?

The girl who will give it all up for you,

The girl who will choke you in your sleep if you do her wrong.

Why would you keep me around?

The girl who meets the beauty standard,

The girl who meets the Borderline Personality Disorder Criteria for Diagnosis.

Why would you want me?

The girl who gives the best gifts,

The girl who will set your family heirlooms on fire.

Why would you like me?

The girl who will protect you from any potential danger,

The girl who will throw you to the wolves.

Why would you love me?

The girl who will love you, even when the whole world is against you,

The girl who will turn the whole world against you.

Nineteen

Nineteen.

On November 14th, 2002, I, Ari, was welcomed into this ruthless, cruel world with pieces of humanity scattered around it.

I came in with a rough start. Having low pulses which lead to my mother having an emergency C-section while my father folded towels.

My childhood is a blur, but I had happy and sad moments.

My mother and father were interesting people and showed me what the real world was like at a young age.

Showed me how to be utterly cruel to someone and turning around and pretending like it never happened.

My mother was, and still is, absolutely gorgeous and I envied her as a child.

Thankfully, I took on her looks.

My father knew how to make money and used it to make up for his absence in my childhood.

Thankfully, I’m materialistic.

I was good in school, but the people at school weren’t good to me.

I learned how to manipulate and punch people in the stomach while giving them a hug.

Detroit kids ain’t no joke, neither are the suburban kids.

I can easily look someone in their eyes and tell them a lie with no mercy at all.

I can hurt someone and knows that it had to happen.

Someone has to endure it and it won’t be me anymore.

Now, I’m nineteen.

In college, transferring schools.

I have the potential to be a success,

The potential to be a psychopath.

I have the potential to mess up my entire life,

The potential to mess up someone else’s entire life.

I have the potential to be a horrible, disturbed human being who ruins everything they touch

At

Nineteen.

Jealousy

I saw the photo of you with her

You are falling out of my trap

And you know we can’t have that

Please don’t leave me now

My best knife is under my pillow

My sexiest lingerie is tightly fitted to my hourglass frame

I await for your arrival

Please don’t leave me now

You just entered our home, my home

You couldn’t wait to get me to the bed

The pieces are falling into place

Please don’t leave me now

You enter me, slow and gentle

The knife enters you, fast and cruel

You try to fight, but I always win

Please don’t leave me now

You are in my trunk now

The photo pinned to your chest

now, there’s no need for you to leave me

My Husband

I remember when I first met the man I would eventually marry

I immediately recognized him as a demonic entity

And I instantly fell in love with him

He brought me up from the darkness

But could easily, quickly,

Bring me back down there

I couldn’t ask for anything more

To keep my reckless heart at bay

One day, I know he will take my life

And leave me somewhere

No one would find

He was so terrifying to me

And so unpredictable

And I just couldn’t stay away

Death has arrived

It was around noon

I never knew it

Then I heard his familar tone

I thought he would quit

I didn’t try to run away

He had me in his trap

I guess it was my day

He is my death cap

The knife is on my neck

He was my beloved

Tearing into my turleneck

This is the pain I’ve always loved

Death never scared me

It is all I ever wanted

An important tool

One thing I have learned

During my short years on this earth

Is how to break a person

Humans, people, are machines

Whether we like to accept it or not

We are machines

And with the right technique,

The right words,

And the right movements

You can strip a person down to their core

Expose them to pure evil and heartbreak

And they will breakdown for however long it takes for them to recover

And I have found this as a useful tool