C.D.

Baby.

You’re my baby, my darling, my lover.

My body aches for you,

My bed feels empty and cold without you.

My soft interior peaks out only for you.

You are my partner,

Nobody compares to you.

I worship you as if you were a God,

My God.

My body was made for you 

To kiss,

To hold,

To grab,

To bend.

I am in my truest form 

When I am with you,

My baby.

Sweet Treat

Today, I decided to try making sugar cookies.
I’ve never made them before,
But I was craving the taste.

The first bite felt surreal.
I felt like I was in a dream, 
A familiar dream.

The second bite felt refreshing.
I was transported back to that familiar dream,
With my beautiful husband and my sweet baby.

The third bite felt loving. 
My husband’s lips were on my neck
While my devilish baby played with strands of my hair.

The fourth bite felt orgasmic.
My husband’s hunger and my baby’s beauty overwhelmed me.
I felt whole again. 

The final bite felt mournful
I knew I would have to say goodbye,
So I gave my husband and my baby a heartfelt kiss.

As the sweet treat fades from my deprived tongue, 
I realize I am 
Once again 
Alone.
And it was once again, 
A near dream of a distant reality.

My Heart

My heart is too delicate and full to be abused.
It is a soft child, new to the harshness of this disgusting world.

She’s still innocent. 


I can’t stop her from loving and caring for useless men
Who can’t see her worth and potential.
Who don’t appreciate the pureness of her love.


But,
She can’t help it.
She thrives and continues to seek the man she will love
And marry until her last breath.

But, 
My heart still ponders a simple question.
What’s the point of giving my all, 
my bottomless being,
to a man who would only give me half?

Dream

I had a dream, 
A dream where I was your wife.
Where your hands were on my waist
And my spine was bent
In your favorite position.
Your hands are glued to my throat
While I try not to scream.

I had a dream,
A dream where you were comforting me.
Where your hands caressed my hair
And my eyes filled with tears
That eventually slide down my face.
Your mouth is whispering sweet sounds
While I am spiraling out of control.

I had a dream,
A dream where you were killing me.
Where your favorite blade pushed through my organs
And my body was motionless
And weak to your attack.
Your body locked over me 
While I slowly lost consciousness. 

And it was the best dream
I’ve ever had.

Love Me Now

You said you didn’t love me.

You said you had no ill feelings for me,

But that you 

Didn’t 

Love 

Me.

I just couldn’t understand the idea of you not loving

me

When I’ve loved you my entire life 

And beyond.

Now, I’m stand

In your kitchen

With your beating heart

In my hands.

Your body lies still on the clean tiles. 

I give your heart a squeeze 

As I admire the sweet gift you have given me. 

I’m sorry, my love.

I just couldn’t 

Take

The

Rejection.

I hope you can love me 

Now

That I have your heart 

In my loving hands. 

Honey

Baby, you are mine.

Your soft tongue slowly traces my honey covered lips. 

My body curves and twists to fit perfectly into yours. 

The honey turns into blood as your sharp teeth bite deeply into my lips, 

Causing the lips between my thighs to heated up

And squeeze together. 

You let out a small grunt and soon your blood begins to pool in your mouth as I pierce you with my knife.

My excitement increases as the pool of blood overfills and flows into my mouth. 

You begin to fight back, but you are fixed into my arms. 

“Please, no.” 

Your begging begins to lead me to climax as your body becomes weaker by the second.

The thought of taking and inhaling your life, your soul into mine is arousing.

Your spirit is exiting your body and I prepare to take it 

And entangle it with mine.

You are mine, my dear.

You are mine in every single way and beyond this world,

You will continue to be mine. 

Closure

I just wanted answers.

I wanted to know why you would cause a soft being like myself

So much internal pain and heartbreak.

When you arrived,

You just couldn’t give me the answers I wanted.

“It was a mistake.”
“You are a beautiful and amazing woman.”
“You deserve better.”
“I told you I didn’t want anything serious.”

Only the same, lame, excuses men always give 

When they fuck up and don’t want to be accountable.

I couldn’t take it anymore.

I wanted to hurt you the same way you hurt me. 

After a struggle and a few punctures,

You were on the ground, slowly bleeding out. 

Your beautiful blue eyes were now bloodshot and filled with fear.

I couldn’t help, but to caress your face.

You flinched at my touch,

Which turned me on. 

A sinister smile creeps onto my face as I grip your face,

Making eye contact. 

I turn your head to reveal a small slit on your neck made during the fight for dominance. 

I admire the cut as I continue to get aroused by your weakness and you continue to be fearful of my next moves.

Without thinking, I lean forward and I can feel your body clench beneath mine.

I tap my tongue on the cut before putting it fully on. 

My tongue swirls around the spot before I begin sucking. 

I notice your heart is beginning to beat faster and you are no longer clenching.

I never had this craving before and I can’t help, but to continue sucking

As this is the ultimate pleasure. 

Once I am fulfilled, I removed myself from the slit and observed him.

He laid there, looking as lifeless, pathetic and useless as ever.

He was dead

And I finally got the closure I was yearning for. 

Human Urges

Sometimes, I get the urge to rip my entire face off. 
To feel my long, pointy nails pierce my skin.
To feel the skin gather under my nails
As they drag down my face,
Along my chin,
And down my neck.

Sometimes, I have the urge to hurt someone.
Not physically; that would be too easy.
I want to feel the energy shift and
the pause to process what I have said.
I want to see the disbelief in their eyes,
The heartbreak in their heart.
The reaction, no matter what it is, to my actions.

Sometimes, I have the urge to tear open my chest. 
To pull apart my breast and dig through the skin and flesh
Until I reach my ribs.
I want to crack each bone, pull back my lungs
And grab my sweet, beating heart.
And I want to detach it from my body and admire it.
Then, I will press my thumbs into it,
Feeling through the soft, plushy material until I reach the center. 
I want to stare into it and caress it before I faint from

The overwhelming joy and blood loss. 

Made for Me

I thought it was impossible to meet a man 

As deranged and lost in this world as I am.

One who has no will to live and only lives 

To raise hell amongst the world.

One who looks at me as if I’m god

And Satan.

One who is able to tame 

My inner wrath and hatred.

One who makes this horrible world

Worth living, even for a few more years.

From the second I met him,

I knew he was made for me,

And only me. 

Love isn’t that simple

Love is not that simple.

Love in not that simple to me.

Other people experience it as 

Something fresh, pleasant and joyful.

I experience it as 

a rebirth, dreading and overall painful.

Love,

For me,

Turns into obsession.

Turns into wanting to be apart of your physical being.

Turns into a burning pain due to how much I crave and desire.

Love,

For me,

Is sickening.

My daily functions depend on your admiration of me.

My mind, body and soul depends on your overall happiness.

Love,

For me,

Becomes my entire identity.

I am not me if I don’t have or possess you.

I am meaningless without love.

Is this healthy?
No, it isn’t.

But it’s the only way I thrive within my being.